Why Relationships Are Failing?
Our culture today – the one of the world is based on the wrong things. Sadly, we are living in a toxic world full of hate and disdain. A focus on superfical things instead of people. We are to treat people with love not offense, hatred and selfishness. Leaders are to step up and be intentional and not superficial. An Elegant Leader is someone who’s eyes are off of themselves and understands we come to love not by becoming the perfect person, far from it, but by seeing the imperfect person perfectly and giving them a hand up – to elevate them to the potential you see in them.
We need the right mindset and to make the right choices. To look at who you can become and not where you are today, or where you came from. This moment is your point of hope. Today marks a new season for your ego, results and relationships. We all have feelings, yet too many of us are living through those feelings. It’s one reason so many are offended by damn near everything.
“Living with fear stops us taking risks, and if you don’t go out on the branch, you’re never going to get the best fruit.” – Sarah Parish
From this day forward, commit to yourself to become the right person – it’s your season to be your best self.
Take your eyes of the outcomes and focus on preparing yourself to be your best self, a better employee, a better parent, a better leader. Be intentionally prepared! My commitment is to prepare you to change your mindset.
Stop following your emotions. Feelings will disappoint you; that’s a pain cycle.
Leadership is service. Service is sacrifice. Sacrifice is love.
Stop setting yourself up for failure by following the roller coaster of good days and bad. There’s too much pressure on you to become someone you’re not prepared to be yet. What are you fixing all your hopes and dreams on?
A wise man once told me as I was entering a new season in life where I was looking to gain wisdom ‘to check the fruit on the tree’ of anyone I listened to. He proceeded to tell me a story of a lone fruit tree in a field. Things don’t do so well when they’re alone. Corn, soybeans, peaches, grapes all grow best when they’re together. Rarely do you find an apple tree alone. The best fruits, like apples, lemons and oranges, grow in an orchard. They are surrounded by trees just like them. They experience “it” together. We are also like orchards. We grow, thrive and are synergistic when we’re surrounded by people who believe what we believe. We’re connected!
The lone tree in a field isn’t isolated either. It may have a healthy looking trunk and pretty leaves, but it yields no fruit. Why? Just like us, we all look good, smell good and put on a good front – all while we’re dying on the inside, hurt and in pain. Honestly, we’re afraid to profess our practice other than to talk a good game for fear of rejection, failure, or even being found out as fake. We often follow our emotions instead of truth.
The lone tree without any fruit isn’t able to live an abundant life without reproducing. There are no other trees for bees to pollenate its blooms, no other trees to share the soil, the sun and rain with. No synergies to leverage without other trees. No opportunities to cross pollenate. So there’s little if any fruit ever. There’s no moral here, no AHA moment…just simple coorelation to grow and to flourish we need each other. We need to surround ourselves with people who believe what we believe in.
If you want a different outcome, then get in a different environment!
Be Prepared. Neither you, nor I can guarantee an outcome! We can only be prepared to do our best and to put forth the effort and sweat equity necessary to reach an outcome. It may not be THE outcome, but it will be an outcome regardless. The preparation we put forth determines which outcome will prevail.
Go Deep. How do you grow a tree? It needs to be in good soil so the roots can grow deep, then wide. Every tree has a taproot. Every relationship you have is built on a ‘taproot’ – that connection that brought the you two of you together. You both believe in something together that established a bond – a root. Get out of the superficial and general communication ‘Starbucks conversations’ and get into the deep feelings and deep needs of each other. Roots determine the fruit.
“Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.” – Khalil Gibran
Let it Rain. In every life a little rain must fall – that’s not a negative connotation. Change your mindset! Stop saying, “I’m sorry, I’m late…again!” Rather say, “thank you for waiting on me – that our friendship is that important you overlook my failures.” Water for trees is refreshment. It quenches its thirst. Who in your life quenches your thirst? Who brightens your day? Who gives you the encouragement just at the right moment? Who is your rain?
Community. The lone tree had no relationship with other trees. Did it not need to be surrounded by other trees? Does it not need to bear good fruit? What about you? Maybe you need to be in a better place, a better environment or different ‘soil.’ We build a community with people who believe what we believe in. We build influence one person at a time. We build an abundant life by connecting with people, sharing the good and the bad out of trust and respect without judgment, by being kind and truthful.
Maybe you need a better experience.
Maybe you need to be surrounded by other trees.
Maybe you need to share with others so you both bear good fruit.
An Elegant Leader with Voltage understands to lead simply, powerfully and gracefully, they need to have a rhythm of ego, results and relationships. Most important of the three is relationships. Everything you do as a leader is with and through other people – people who believe what you believe. If you’re going to bear good fruit, then you need to have the right mindset of service, sacrifice and love.
Be Smart. When you think of fire, think of warmth, heat. Do not be confused. It can burn your house down, too. Find people to be within your support system. People who are there to help you – be intentional.
Normal is Foundational. It’s not your interpretation of what you think is okay or what your social network says is okay. Normal is not about exploration – don’t ever cheapen it. Nothing stays the same. It’s getting better or worse. It takes work. Enjoy the work. The journey in the work is worth it.
Be Principled. Quit changing the standard. A standard is not a moving standard, and stop saying non-negotiable. It’s either a standard or it’s not.
Many people and company’s talk about how important a relationship is. We live it everyday – genuinely, authentically and transparently. Organizational success is not only about finding the right leaders throughout the company. It’s about creating an environment and igniting their passion to operate at the highest level of performance. With today’s business climate filled with ambiguity and uncertainty, isn’t it wise to have someone by your side as your sounding board, your stake-in-the-ground when, not if things occur? We deliver clear, concise and compelling solutions to your most pressing problems delivering unmatched ROI of 5-10X guaranteed. Give us a call 205-482-2177 or email me directly today!